What exactly is a hangover? Why do I feel this terrible?
Think of a hangover as your body’s angry, itemized receipt for the party last night. It’s a perfect storm of:
- Dehydration: Alcohol is a diuretic, meaning it makes you pee a lot, draining your body of fluids. This is why your head is pounding and your mouth feels like the Sahara.
- Stomach Irritation: Alcohol increases stomach acid, which is why you might feel nauseous.
- Inflammation: Your immune system can trigger an inflammatory response to alcohol, contributing to that general feeling of being unwell.
- Sleep Disruption: You might have passed out, but you didn't get quality, restorative sleep. Alcohol messes with your sleep cycles.
What’s the #1 thing I should be drinking right now?
Water. Start with a big glass of water as soon as you wake up. But to really level up, you need to replace lost electrolytes.
- Your Best Bets: An electrolyte drink mix like Liquid I.V. or Pedialyte is your secret weapon. They contain the sodium and potassium your body is craving. Gatorade or coconut water are also solid choices.
Should I crush a greasy breakfast from The Row?
It’s complicated. That greasy bacon, egg, and cheese might sound like a miracle cure, but it’s not.
- The Myth: Greasy food doesn't "soak up" alcohol that's already in your system.
- The Reality: Eating a big meal before you drink can help slow alcohol absorption. The morning after, it might just irritate your already-sensitive stomach.
- A Better Move: Go for something easier on the stomach. Eggs are fantastic because they contain cysteine, an amino acid that helps break down the toxins from alcohol. Toast, bananas, and avocado are also great choices.
Will "hair of the dog" (drinking more alcohol) actually help?
Hard no. This is the definition of procrastination. Having a drink might temporarily make you feel better because you're giving your body more alcohol to process, but you're just delaying the inevitable crash. Don't pay off one credit card with another—it never ends well.
Is coffee a good or bad idea?
It's a double-edged sword. If you're a regular coffee drinker, the caffeine can help with the grogginess and may ease a tension headache. However, coffee is also a diuretic, so it can make dehydration worse.
- The Verdict: It's okay in moderation, but for every cup of coffee you drink, have a big glass of water with it.
How can I prevent this nightmare next time? (The Pro-Move)
The only guaranteed cure is not drinking, but let's be real. Here’s how to minimize the damage:
- Eat: Have a balanced meal with carbs, protein, and fat before you go out.
- Hydrate: For every alcoholic drink, have a glass of water. This is the golden rule.
- Pace Yourself: It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
- Choose Wisely: Clear liquors like vodka, gin, and light rum have fewer "congeners" (byproducts that contribute to hangovers) than dark liquors like whiskey, dark rum, and red wine.